Hell Hath No Fury Like a Manstress Scorned

It appears that Sanford's mistress, Maria, was careless and her new boyfriend was nosey. According to published reports, Maria's boyfriend sent copies of her e-mails to the press, having hacked into her e-mail account. Maria's email mentioned that she was not overly thrilled with her new boyfriend and cared for Sanford. The boyfriend read that in one of the email messages and because his manhood was injured he couldn't just accept that she wasn't moved by him--he had to take his revenge. The man needs to grow a set.

If You're Going to Have an Affair, Be Discreet!

With all of the recent revelations in the news about politicians and their mistresses, we here at the Moodymistress blog would like to take this opportunity to discuss the importance of discretion.

Central to keeping things discreet is a good alibi. Whether one is in the public sphere or not, an alibi is a critical component for a successful affair. Why didn't Governor Sanford arrange for a fake golf or sport fishing trip? He could have said he was golfing or fishing either in Argentina (where he flew to see his mistress) or closer to home in Florida or the Caribbean; male golf buddies and fishing partners, real and in cahoots or imaginary, are good alibis that draw little suspicion-- perceived as men-only trips, particularly those that take place regularly.

If he needed something more creative, he could use a service like this one:

• ALIBI Hotel Service - With Live Operator support and telephone number routing, a HOTEL website
• ALIBI Travel Agency
• Airline Tickets mailed to you with an Invite
• Untraceable Phone Numbers (ANY AREA CODE) with Voicemail

If Gov. Sanford, or Sen. Ensign had been a bit more discreet and put some effort into their alibis, they would not be facing public outrage and private misery.

Missing my Moody Mistress

It seems only fair that I express my feelings regarding the absence of my lover while she is away on travel, combining business with pleasure. She is very fortunate in that her business takes her to one of the most beautiful places in the world and what saddens me is that I am not there to share it with her.

For many years I had travelled for business, spending weeks at a time flying from coast to coast and to Europe. The vast majority of that travel was alone. As much as I miss her, and I miss her terribly, I want my lovely lady to have a wonderful time because she deserves the pleasures and freedom to relax and enjoy these times. But I also know that she is thinking of me, she is missing me and she loves me.

There are times when we may go for several days without seeing one another for reasons of work, other schedule commitments, unforeseen events that no one can plan for, but even then we miss each other. After these times apart we take full advantage of our intimate time together. All the sadness evaporates once we are in each others arms and we can feel the closeness again.

The intimate times are always wonderful but there are also those times when we can sit by the fountain and talk about everything. These are the times that make what we have very special. Not only do we share an intense passion for each other when in bed but we also share a desire to be friends. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect woman to be both. So maybe you can see why I miss my moody mistress and she misses me.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith: The Sequel

My mistress and I have made “movie scenes” but not to the extent that is presented in the sex scene of the film. Based upon the level of destruction, and the sounds of broken glass, I could only imagine how potentially dangerous it would be revealing any exposed flesh to that environment. If I were not already circumcised, I am sure I would be after a “desk top” hump-fest with shards of glass all about. And for god sake where was OSHA during the filming of that movie?

Anyway, I have to agree that the sex scene with Brad and Angelina was hot and there is unquestionably incredible chemistry between them. The Moody Mistress and I have that same chemistry. Maybe not the same propensity for violence but we do express ourselves in many of the same physical ways. But that slap to the face after they climaxed…what was that all about? Maybe Mrs. Smith was pissed and felt that a few more orgasms would have satisfied her need before Mr. Smith rolled over, so a right cross to the face was her way of saying, “I’m not through yet”. That would certainly get my attention.

My point in writing this can be found in the title of this blog, and my pointing out that even the hot scene from Mr. and Mrs. Smith as intense as it appears, is all purely Hollywood. The passion that Moody Mistress and I share is amazing and very loving. When we are together every intimate moment we share is a merging of not only our bodies but in many respects, our beings. Yes, I know this is the kind of “sappy stuff” that I get beat up over, but there is so much that passes between the Moody Mistress and I that we are both totally spent and in many cases seeing stars or wobbly in the knees after we make love.

But eventually when we return to our senses and the glow and beaming fades I will receive a glare and the always anticipated “Ewwwwwwww” when my beloved rolls over into the “wet spot” and just rips into me. And we both laugh uncontrollably. I am waiting for the Mr. and Mrs. Smith sequel where, Angelina hits the wet spot and reacts in the same way my Moody Mistress does, goes into the bathroom pulls out a shoulder launch grenade and takes a shot at Mr. Smith screaming, “You bastard, I have to do laundry again because of you!”

The Vacationing Manstress Returns

I can understand why my Moody Mistress might find my efforts to lock the door behind her as she was pinned to that door a bit of a distraction; but, I’d like to think I was being thoughtful and pro-active-- just in case the maintenance people dropped by while my lovely lady and I were producing a “movie scene” of our own. I was just trying to do the right thing. Besides, for you guys who know what it is like to try and stop ejaculating when you have reached the point of no return…I do not recommend it. The maintenance you will need is to help re-attach your testicles after they shoot across the room from back-pressure. Fortunately the facilities people were not out and about and we were protected from unexpected intruders.

Now, seeing that Cosmopolitan is the world’s leading reference manual for sexual activities, I am sure that my Moody Mistress will request that I “educate” myself on what I could only imagine must be described as Pounding Against the Wall (or PAW-ING). Most of the time, the only wall pounding we might hear is when my lovely lady gets a tad boisterous as we are “deeply engaged” in our love making. And, may I add, that I love it knowing that I am driving her wild and that she vocalizes it so openly and freely.

So, my sweet Moody Mistress I will be counting the minutes till you return from your vacation. I want to address your upcoming absence. I too think about how hard you work and I think of your need for time to recover from your associates and the people you assist everyday. I know it is good for you to just relax and take your leisure at your own pace. I take great pleasure in knowing that you have many things that you enjoy both with me and when we are not together. You are with me in my heart every minute you are away from me. I am sad then we are apart but I know that my love for you will just make the coming home that much sweeter.

Super Hot Sex

Manstress is still on vacation. So, my mind was wandering to the last time we had sex. We knew it would be awhile until we could be together again, so when he burst through my door, we didn't waste any time. He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed passionately, at the same time undressing each other with an urgency fueled by pent-up desire. He was pinning me against the door, we didn't even make it to the bedroom. Hot! He wanted me so much, he couldn't wait. He was taking me then and there...and then I hear a CLICK. Hold on a minute. He wasn't pinning me against the door in a primal display of dominance. He was making sure I locked the door. So much for the movie sex scene.

Now, I'm not complaining here. We went on to have some hot sweaty action that led to some multiple O's and left me seeing stars. But, I can't help but feel I missed out on something there. Who hasn't been inspired by Mr. and Mrs. Smith?

If you're interested in perfecting the position, Cosmopolitan has a great article on having sex up against the wall. They point out that despite being thrilling, it can be difficult to pull off. There primer is quite useful. Note to Manstress: can you guess what we'll be doing when you return from your vacay?

Missing My Manstress

Manstress is on vacation. I truly hope that he has a good time. He works hard and needs to relax. But, it's hard for me. I wish that I could be on that cruise with him or hold hands on a beach at sunset. I wish I could fall asleep in his arms and wake up to see him at first light. This is not our reality. I try to focus on the things we can do together, rather than those we can't. Still, it makes me sad to think of the things we aren't able to enjoy together.